My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
