CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
