First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
