youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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