I think I died a long time ago.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
