i think my tv is drunk
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
