did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
