She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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