every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We left the knife in your bed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
