I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had to cum in my sink.
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