enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
