he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize