i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your cock deserves a montage
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
