dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
did i walk over a car last night?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
