I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
