community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
