"it" just moved
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
