omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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