he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
