Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Drake has all the answers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
