She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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