how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His nipple licking is glorious
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