new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
