I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
