MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
