people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
FUCK WHALES
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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