hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
