Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
