Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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