I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
