dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
