so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize