The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
