i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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