So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
