Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
