Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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