no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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