I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
