I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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