if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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