Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
