Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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