Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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