She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
