I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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