my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
