The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
