either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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