If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
