Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
