Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize