is your mom at the bar?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I smell like Dick and happiness
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
