There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
