How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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