wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
