They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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